-For the Uncensored!
While I spend most of the time writing letters to the people who deserve my bile and rage, my readers are something that I always thank in the end. For a long time, I never considered writing blogs or addressing my opinions into the ether. I felt the art should come first. I learned that people want to sometimes know your opinion on a topic and then through your blog you can promote your art. But readers are a sacred thing to me, as a writer. I see readers as my crusade to fight for. When everyone could be playing a video game, or playing on their phone, you’re here. Reading these words.
I am amazed at how I can find readers, because I am usually more pessimistic about the current state of readership. Even though I do worship writing, I always tried to play it safe and get a full time job. But I will tell you something personal. I had a blood clot at 21. It was the most painful and sad moment of my life. I was in love with someone who didn’t love me, so imagine how I felt sitting in the hospital bed, and the whore I was in love with, got a job promotion.
I then did what I always did. I pulled out my laptop, with the help of Aqua Teen Hunger Force to help past the week, read, and wrote. It was then I started to take my life seriously. For me, reading had been there throughout my life. When friends went there separate ways, and none of them ever visited me in the hospital, with his mom.
So, I do owe that debt of gratitude to those who did visit me in the hospital. But reading is what helped me through the pain and torment. But now, being 36, books have always been a stability in my life that has never gone away.
I know the trope, “I can’t be lonely, I have so many books, and authors willing to talk to me.” And sometimes you don’t need to be in contact with the author to know that the work you read in their hands are what the reader, you, want.
Having that stability in authors who constantly thrilled, teased, and poked me further into my hobby/profession, it has definitely helped me out of suicide and also gave me some reason to believe in something far more than most people admit is true.
When I read, I know that someone else out there needs to know that things will be okay. Sometimes I am pessimistic in my shorter blog work, but that’s when I cover topics. A fiction book, in some cases, has helped me pursue my creativity but also find that way through my pity, anger, and despair.
So, when you guys read me, just know it took me a lot to get here. To know that I wasn’t the same person as before. But I do charge into battle, in my fiction, as the boars in Princess Mononoke said, “It will be a battle the humans will never forget.”
It’s what I think when I put my thoughts, character, or a beautiful description down. I want you to never forget me. And let me live forever. Even when you might forget one day. But that’s okay. We’re all busy. But know that my books are there, always when you get lonely. When you need to find me and I can see you too. But as I always say, “Bet on yourself Star, because no one else will.” As I began writing, and promoting my work, and helping people find me, I knew that readers existed, but now we need each other more than ever.
Thanks again,
LtB
🤜🤛